Star Wars and this sub saved my life... thank you.

I know this sounds dumb but Star Wars and this sub saved my life over the last few years... this is a throwaway because I'm quite active on my real account..I'm 22 and I've been really depressed for a long time. When I was 15 my dad died and that made everything worse. I was already depressed and felt horribly but it didn't really feel unbearable until then... and at the time I thought everyone in high school was just sad. The rest of high school was hard.. my mom barely made minimum wage so I worked at the gas station and movie theater to help. I got bullied a lot I don't really know why maybe cause I was quiet.. anyway I eventually graduated and I kept working and even took some classes at a local cc. I just didn't feel like I had anything going for me. I didn't had any friends and my mom met her (now) new husband so she didn't really spend time with me or want me around.But it was around this time they announced they were making a new Star Wars. I loved Star Wars when I was little but it just kind of fell on the back burner when everything else came up. I'd been stuck at a job I hated I didn't know what I wanted from school, I got asked to leave a lot so I had to ask coworkers to stay at their house or I'd get a motel. I just hated everything and didn't have anyone to talk to and I wanted to kill myself. I thought about it so much and sometimes just sat in the shower with a knife and cried...but I came to this sub after I saw the teaser for force awakens and I started being more active and talking to people. For the first time in a long time I was enjoying something and talking about theories and stuff... I picked up a few books people suggested and I found something I enjoyed..It was still hard and it is still.. but at the time when I wanted to die I'd just come here and distract myself. And I'd think how I can't end it now because I have to see the new movie. I know how stupid that sounds cause it's just a movie but it meant a lot to me..Finally it came out and I saw it. I loved it so much it just made me feel happy and excited. I connected to Rey the most I think.. even Kylo.. just the feeling of not knowing where I belong or feeling lost..but it made me feel like I could be better and it sounds dumb but just these new characters and being so excited about the movie I loved and being able to come here and talk about it helped me.It's been 2 years and I'm still working at a job I hate and I don't really see a way out.. I live in a studio apartment now because my mom moved in with her husband and I don't really see them. But things are a bit better. I don't have any friends but I like talking to people here and it helps when things get hard.I'm really excited for the Last Jedi and I can't wait to go see it. I still have times where I just feel like I don't belong here but the force awakens kind of reminded me of this thing I loved and we had rogue one and now the new movie coming out.. I am trying to get better but in the mean time I know I can't end it because I have to see this story.. and I love coming here and seeing what everyone thought about the movies or trailers and books because I don't have anyone around me to talk about it with... so it's nice to feel included in something I like... thanks via /r/StarWars http://ift.tt/2xr65P9